


Featherton

by eliahark



Category: Original Work
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Bisexual Female Character, Boys In Love, Cancer, Coming of Age, Dead People, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gay, High School, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired By Tumblr, Inspired by Real Events, Inspired by Stranger Things (TV 2016), Meddling Kids, Men Crying, Multi, Nicknames, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Painting, Pansexual Character, Teenagers, Teens being teens, Texting, Touch-Starved, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-02-09 06:29:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18632698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliahark/pseuds/eliahark
Summary: What the brochures say:Welcome to Featherton. A suburb of Buffalo, New York, near St. Johnsburg.  It’s very homey with a tight-knit community, similar to a small town. It’s about half an hour away from Gloucester proper, and it’s near Lake ErieWhat they should say:Welcome to Featherton. A small town that’s half an hour away from Buffalo. It’s technically a hamlet. It’s technically apart of another town and connected, but it has its own elementary school and it has its own sections on the map. Most people around here live in actual towns or actually live in Buffalo proper. Yes, it's near Lake Erie. But the lake always so fucking cold and nasty the only thing you’ll get from it is a shitload of snow. Sure it’s homey but that’s because of the bullshit aesthetic ideas we have about the ‘downtown’ area. Sure the communities tight-knit but most of the kids will get slammed into at least one locker before they leave high school.Regardless. Welcome to Featherton. The town, that's not really a town. The suburb that's not really a suburb. A name that’s kinda an oxymoron, kinda not an oxymoron. It’s an in-between place.





	1. What the brochures say

What the brochures say:

Welcome to Featherton. A suburb of Buffalo, New York, near St. Johnsburg. It’s very homey with a tight-knit community, similar to a small town. It’s about half an hour away from Gloucester proper, and it’s near Lake Erie 

What they should say:

Welcome to Featherton. A small town that’s half an hour away from Buffalo. It’s technically a hamlet. It’s technically apart of another town and connected, but it has its own elementary school and it has its own sections on the map. Most people around here live in actual towns or actually live in Buffalo proper. Yes, it's near Lake Erie. But the lake always so fucking cold and nasty the only thing you’ll get from it is a shitload of snow. Sure it’s homey but that’s because of the bullshit aesthetic ideas we have about the ‘downtown’ area. Sure the communities tight-knit but most of the kids will get slammed into at least one locker before they leave high school.

Regardless. Welcome to Featherton. The town, that's not really a town. The suburb that's not really a suburb. A name that’s kinda an oxymoron, kinda not an oxymoron. It’s an in-between place. 

Welcome to the place of almost. It’s a place where time warps, like a target, or an empty parking lot, or a stairwell

Anyways 

Welcome to Featherton


	2. Chapter 1: The Follies of Youth

**Chapter 1 Morgan**

She stands on her porch staring at her door key jammed in the lock. To the passerby, she looks like a girl who is having trouble opening her door. To the mirror, she looks like a scared little girl afraid to open her own door. 

_ Come on Morgan,  _ she tells herself  _ just open the damn door.  _ But she knows it’s so much more than that. She shakily turns the key and opens the door. She walks in quietly. She walks to the stairs and stops in her tracks.  _ Don’t do it _ . She tells herself but she does it anyway. She pears into her living room and sees her mother staring at the landline vacantly while the missing children's list blaring across the television in the empty room. She doesn’t even look up at the noise of Morgan walking in. 

She turns and heads upstairs to her room. Her protection. She loves it in this state. Just messy enough. She dumps her bag on the ground and flops on her bed and shuts her eyes. And she just lies there in the silence for a while. Her phone buzzes next to her. She grabs it and sees a message. 

**Nedward**

hey, guys, you wanna meet up at the Coffee shop?

My shift ends at 1:30 but we can go to the arcade after. 

 

She grabs her phone shoves it into her pocket and goes downstairs. She is about to just walk out the door. But before she can stop herself she walks into the living room and looks at her mother’s empty stare. 

She sees the note on the table. 

She stares at the television. Despite knowing, despite seeing, she still hopes she’ll see His name pop up. She sighs and writes a note ‘i’ll be home by 10, not that you’ll check.’ she slams the door. Grabs her skateboard she left on the lawn and rides off down the empty suburban street. She passes rows of neat crisp 3 story houses with white porches and picket fences. Flying past manicured lawns and crisp flowerbeds. She turns and corner and she is gone. 


	3. Chapter 2: New in Town

**Chapter 2 Chloe:**

Chloe is lying across her bed in a pile of recently unpacked clothing. She should be unpacking one of her many boxes or hanging her posters on the wall. Instead, she’s staring at a message on her phone from a girl she hardly knows. She gets up and looks into the mirror, she looks so “girl next door” just more Asian, she always does. She is the poster child for “girl next door”. She looks at her ensemble of school t-shirt and medium length shorts. She sighs, leaves her room creeping down the stairs, she’s so close to the door when she hears a sharp,

“where do you think you’re going?” her mother walks over to her 

“Out” 

“What?” her mother squawks

“I have to make friends here sometime mama” she responds, flapping her arm, She runs outside and grabs her bike, Throws herself over it,  And rides off through suburbia. 


	4. Chapter 3: A Coffee Shop

**Chapter 3: Lizzy**

The Featherton coffee shop has always been a weird place. Mostly because it looks completely out of place. In any other town, it might work, but with Featherton’s weird 1950’s / all of the buildings used to be homes aesthetic, it looks completely out of place. It looks like a normal store, in a short concrete building with a drive-through and a parking lot. Lizzy walks across the parking lot, empty now that school is over and pretty much everyone fled to the beach. No one wants to stay in Featherton during the summer and frankly, Lizzy can’t blame them. She swings open the door with a Jangle 

“oOh BaRIstA get me My UsuAL Latte AsAP” she calls out into the empty store

“Did you know that I hate you sometimes” comes the answer from behind the counter. 

“You love me and you know it,” she says smirking “plus you’re grinning” she leans up against the counter. Ned rolls her eyes at her, 

“Iced coffee, with coconut milk and sugar?” he asks

“Ya,” she says smiling 

“What can I say, I know our best customer” he smirks at her, and she feels a blush spread across her pale skin. 

“Alright, there you go,” Ned says placing her drink on the counter “give me your money” he makes little grabby hands at her, and she pays him still smiling. 

“I can’t believe your dad is making you finish up your shift if the store’s this empty” Lizzy remarks gesturing broadly at the room. 

“Ya, but if he wasn’t we wouldn’t have anywhere to go” he retorts 

“Ahh, the royal we” Lizzy giggles, and pushes off the counter to head back to the beanbags 

“Oh shut up Merida” he calls back

“We’re going with Merida today?” she turns to him, sipping dramatically on her coffee

“Ahh, the royal we,” Ned says horribly imitating her. 

“I do not sound like that” 

“Whatever you say, Sansa”

“Oh shut up” she protests flopping onto a beanbag

“Never” the door swings open as dan and Laurie come in, Dan laughing like an idiot and Laurie groaning.

“Really dan?” she flops on the beanbag next to Lizzy dramatically. 

“What bad sex joke did he make this time,” Lizzy asks rolling her eyes

“I'm offended you would think so low of me,” Dan says in mock offense. 

“Hey, are you two going to buy anything or are you just gonna loiter?” Ned jokes leaning on the counter. 

“FATHER” Dan calls putting his hands up. 

“SON” Ned says putting his hands up the same way.  

“COFFEE” Laurie calls half-heartedly sticking her hands in the air, Ned laughs 

“Kay Laurie I’ll get you coffee, Dan?” he points at Dan

“Nah” Dan answers before flopping on the beanbags so his head is on Lizzy’s stomach, she laughs and begins absentmindedly threading her hands through his hair.  The door opens again as Ben walks in 

“DADDY’ they all call out in unison, except for Ned who’s busy making Laurie coffee he turns around and pouts 

“Aww I missed it” Ben just shakes his head

“You guys are weird” he laughs 

“Yet you still hang out with us” Dan points out. 

“Laurie you have to pay me money” Ned calls out 

“Fuck capitalism” Laurie calls out but she pulls out her wallet, “Ben can you bring the money to the Ned?” 

“Why do I have to do it,” Ben asks 

“Because you’re standing up, and you’re a nice person” 

“Alright, alright” Ben grabs the money from her,  “I’ll also bring you back your drink because I’m a good person” 

“Thank youuuuu” Laurie calls out, before beginning to chatter absentmindedly with Dan, part way through the conversation Ben comes back with both her coffee and gives it to her 

“My knight in shining armor” Laurie fake swoon, Ben just laughs and sits down next to Lizzy and starts to sip on his own drink. But he doesn’t join in on the chatter. 

“Hey, you good?” Lizzy asks gently nudging him with her shoulder, 

“Ya, just, where’s Morgan?” he says quietly 

“She’s coming, if she doesn’t get here in 5 minutes I’ll call her, okay?” Lizzy smiles at him. “Now join our cuddle pile” 

“Yes ma’am,” he says fake saluting her, before moving behind her, so she can lay her head down on his shoulder. A few moments later the door swings open to reveal Morgan. 

“WIFEY” Laurie calls out to her, opening her arms, 

“WIFEY” Morgan calls back, also opening her arms, she turns to face the counter to see Ned sitting on the counter 

“Edward,” she says before gently curtsying to him. 

“Edward more like NEDWARD” Dan calls out

“Nedward more like TEDWARD” Lizzy yells out

“Tedward more like SQUIDWARD” Laurie yells out in triumph. 

“I hate all of you” is Ned's reply. 

“No you don’t Nedward, you love us and you know it” Morgan responds, grabbing Laurie's drink and taking a sip, before flopping into onto the beanbag and arranging herself so that her head is on Laurie’s chest, and Ben scoots so that his head is on her chest. 

“We have made a cuddle circle” Dan calls out “we have ascended” Lizzy looks over to see Ben quietly asking Morgan if she’s okay and Morgan quietly nods to him before she starts stroking his hair. And at that moment the door swings open to reveal a girl none of them had ever seen before.


	5. Chapter 4: I'm Gay

**Chapter 4: Ben**

The entire group turns to the door to see a short girl who’s not as gangly as Lizzy but doesn’t have as much muscle definition as Morgan standing in front of the door. She fidgets with her hands for a second before saying

“Um, sorry, I just- the sign said you were open- and I… I figured that I guess I was wrong… I’ll just” Her voice is a translucent mint green that snakes at the bottom of his vision.

“No we’re open,” Ned says quickly, his familiar bright orange triangle cutting across quickly. The girl just nods and turns to the group of them on the couches.

“Um, My name is Chloe by the way, I just moved here. She says with an awkward wave.

“Hi, I’m Ben” Ben speaks up, “the girl who I’m lying on is Morgan"

“Hey,” Morgan says gently smiling,

“Then Morgan’s lying on Laurie who’s lying on Dan, who’s lying on Lizzy who’s lying on me,” he says as everybody waves respectively “and that’s Ned at the counter”

“Sorry, we just dropped a lot of information on you,” Lizzy says, “you can just order your drink and then run if you want to, but if you wanna talk that's cool, too” the girl visibly relaxes, Lizzy has that effect on people, Ben thinks,

“I’ll stay and talk if that’s good with you, I should probably know some people here”

“Totally,” Lizzy says “I know it’s overwhelming to be in a new place”

“Just a warning, if you want to be popular, we are not the crew you wanna be hanging with” Morgan warns her “we’re a bit…weird”

“That’s fine with me if you want me to go I can,” Chloe says nervously

“Oh, No you can totally stay with us, I just want you to know what you're getting into” Morgan remarks smiling “we also should probably disentangle so that it’s easier to talk to us”

“Awwwww” Dan whines. Lizzy gently whacks his arm “oww” he says pointedly. But he gets up and puts his arm around Lizzy while leaning up against her. Ben scoots forward between Dan and Laurie who both promptly squish into him, Morgan turns and lies against Laurie who wraps her arms around her and pulls her in so Morgans face is on her chest, and Laurie's head is resting on top of Morgans.

“So where did you move here from” Dan starts,

“Oh, um I moved here from California,” Chloe says smoothing down her shirt

“Yikes,” Ned says as he comes around the counter and sits next to them “on behalf of Featherton we are all very sorry”, Chloe laughs at that,

“Well thank you for your humble apology,” she says. “But I’m okay with it, I didn’t have a lot of friends back in LA”

“Well, you can be our friend here” Laurie announces.  

“But we have one condition” Morgan announces “you must be okay with cuddling and obscene amounts of touching”

“Obscene amounts of touching: name of your sex tape” Dan responds, there are varying groans, and Ned uses this time to flop across everybody's lap, putting his head on Lizzy who smiles widely at him.

“Oh my god Nedward” Laurie groans “get your feet out of my boobs”

“Sorry it’s not my fault your boobs take up my feet space”

“It’s not my fault I have big boobs,” she says shoving his feet onto the ground.

“Well I like your boobs, they’re soft” Morgan cuts in

“Aww, thanks, wifey,” Laurie says before kissing Morgans forehead. Ben smiles at the two of them, and their strange antics. He turns to see Chloe looking at the two of them oddly.

“Um I have a question, are the two of you… dating” Morgan instantly stiffens

“Would you have a problem with that?”

“What, no”

“Oh well, we’re not” Morgan responds relaxing again,

“But we’re all gay” Laurie interjects

“When you say all of you-” Chloe starts

“All of us” Lizzy confirms, “let’s see, I’m pan, Dans gay, Ben’s ace, Both Laurie and Morgan are bi and Tedward here is our token straight”

“I’m the only one,” Ned says

“Just wait” Lizzy points at him she turns and faces Chloe “it’s only a matter of time until you catch the gay”

“Don’t worry I’ve already caught it” she responds “I’m a lesbian”

“We have another gay!” Laurie shouts “YES”

“Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay” Morgan Laurie and Dan chant.

“I seem to have come in at an inopportune moment” they all turn around to see one of the worst possible people to walk in on this moment “But would I be able to get an iced coffee, Edward?”

“Yes, of course, Ms. Williams,” Ned says, before rushing around to behind the counter “the usual”

“Yes.” she places money down on the counter before turning around and staring at the group, sucking all happiness out of the rooms “Hello there Daniel, Morgan, Lauralie, Elizabeth, Benjamin” she gives them a curt nod when acknowledging them

“Hello, Ms. Williams,” they all say soberly.

“You all seem to be having a fine summer vacation” they all nod

“I have your coffee,” Ned says

“Good,” Ms. Williams says. “And I would advise you to refrain from making a ruckus in a public setting in the future,” she says before turning on her heel and stalking out. The bell on the door tingled behind her.

“Jesus Christ, who was that?” Chloe asks incredulously. “I thought dementors were fictional”

“That was Ms. Williams, the soul-sucking school secretary,” Dan says seriously. And before Chloe can respond she feels a buzz in her pocket.

 

**Mother Dearest**

Your father will be home in 15 minutes.

You better be here.

 

Shit.

 

“Guys I would love to hang but my mom wants me home soon”

“Dude that’s totally cool,” the blonde one, Morgan Says to her, “just give me your number and I’ll add you to the group chat. You seem pretty cool”

“Thanks,” Chloe says, and she hands over her phone and Morgan quickly adds her number and gets Chloe's. She says her goodbyes and leaves the coffee shop, not even concerned about what she’ll face at home. As she gets on her bike she grins a bit.

 

Having friends seems pretty cool.


	6. Chapter 5a: Texting

**Chapter 5: Group Chat “IT’s TeDwarD” From Lizzy’s Phone**

Irish Not British has added 973-458-3289 to the chat

 

Irish Not British

  * Hey guys I just added Chloe



 

973-458-3289

  * Hi



973-458-3289 has been changed to New In Town

 

That's What She Said

  * Oh nice



 

New In Town

  * I don’t have anyone's number
  * So could you guys tell me who
  * you are?



 

That’s What She Said

  * Oh I’m Dan



 

Irl Peter Parker

  * I’m Ben



 

I’m Lizzy Btw

Laurel Wreath

  * Laurie :)



 

Edward Tedward Nedward Squidward

  * I’m Ned



EDWARD TEDWARD NEDWARD SQUIDWARD

 

That’s What She Said

  * EDWARD TEDWARD NEDWARD SQUIDWARD



 

Laurel Wreath

  * EDWARD TEDWARD NEDWARD SQUIDWARD



 

Irl Peter Parker

  * EDWARD TEDWARD NEDWARD SQUIDWARD



 

Irish Not British

  * EDWARD TEDWARD NEDWARD SQUIDWARD



 

Edward Tedward Nedward Squidward

  * Fuck all of you
  * Why are we even friends



 

 **Chapter 5 B:**   **Group Chat “IT’s TeDwarD” From Ned’s Phone**

Fuck all of you

Why are we even friends

Redhead Menace

  * Because you love us



No, I don’t

 

Morgana Pendragon

  * Honestly no idea



 

Sex Joke Machine

  * Probably because we pay you



I demand a raise

Laura Would Have Been Too Easy

  * We will now pay you 2 pennies an hour



I don’t get paid enough

New Girl

  * Probably not



 

Uncle Ben’s Not Dead

  * Definitely not



 

Redhead Menace

  * See, you stick around because you love us



LIES

Uncle Ben’s Not Dead

  * Oh fuck off



**Chapter 5C: Group Chat IT’s TeDwarD from Dan’s Phone**

**Gasps**

MOM DAD SAID A BAD WORD

Annabeth Chase

        Benjamin! Not around the children

Harry Potter

        Sorry Darling

Jewish Archie Andrews

        I told you that you never should

        have married him

Annabeth Chase

        Well hindsight is 20/20 darling brother

John Mulaney’s New In Town

        Hi, I don’t mean to be rude

        but what the fuck is going on?

Eh fair question

Sansa Stark

        Basically over years of friendship

        We created a family tree in which

        Morgan’s the mom Ben’s the dad

        Ned is Morgan’s sister for some reason

And the rest of us are the kids

John Mulaney’s New In Town

        … I’m changing your contact names

You’re beginning to  grow on me Chloe

John Mulaney’s New In Town

        Aww thanks <3

**Gasp**

An Heart, oh it’s true love

When shall I propose

John Mulaney’s New In Town

        In about three months at Niagara falls

Aruna

        I like her.

Annabeth Chase

        Hey guys do you wanna hang out tomorrow

John Mulaney’s New In Town

        Oh ya that’s what I was gonna ask

        What do you guy do around here

Jewish Archie Andrews

        What a good question that is

Harry Potter

        Well I mean sometimes we hang out at

         the arcade or the movie theater

Aruna

        Sometimes we all go and watch

        Lizzy and Ben repaint their wall cause

        Their talented and shit

Aruna

        But mostly we just hang at each

        others houses

and have wild orgies

Annabeth Chase

        Dan. Corner now.

You can’t make me

Annabeth Chase

        I’ll break into your house

Okay then. I’m in a corner now

Harry Potter

        10 minutes

John Mulaney’s New In Town

        Sorry to Interrupt but what’s this wall?

Sansa Stark

        Oh it’s nothing

Aruna

        It’s not anything

        The town basically allows them

        to paint up this old empty wall that

        kept getting vandalized because

        they’re talented like that

Harry Potter

        Laurie just likes to make a big deal

        Out of it because she’s an proud mama

        Bear.


	7. Chapter 6: Crushes are weird

**Chapter 6: Ben**

Despite it only being the first week of summer, it is unusually hot in Featherton and the sun beats down like no ones business.  Morgan’s Parents are out of town, dealing with the situation. They always are these days. And if they are home Morgan isn’t. Lizzy lightly suggested that they should hang out in her basement, after all, she has the freezie pops. Morgan took her up on that deal and this is how they all ended up sprawled around her basement. Morgan’s on the loveseat with Ben, her feet draped over him, Laurie and Chloe are upside down on the couch, Dan is demonstrating that he doesn’t understand how it sit on the armchair, Ned’s sitting on the bean bag, and Lizzy is somehow perched on a footstool like a bird.

“I wanna do something blasphemous” Dan announces. 

“Like what you’re doing to that chair” Chloe smirks. Ben liked her, they needed someone to shut Dan up every once in a while. 

“Nah, like religious blasphemous”

“That's what that means you fucking walnut” Lizzy retorts

“Oh come on” Dan groans

“I need to start calling Dan a walnut more” Laurie muses

“We could have a picnic on my Torah shawl and then play frisbee with my Yamaha” Ned suggests. 

“But then we’d have to get up,” Dan says 

‘You know what, I bet we still have the box of host’s around here somewhere” Morgan says. 

“Wait? what?” 

“You know hosts. What you have during communion. My uncle who’s a priest in Ireland sends them to us because he knows there isn’t a ‘proper’ Catholic church around here. They come pre-consecrated”  Ben loves the way she pronounces Ireland, air-lann, it has a different color than her usual speaking does. Usually, her speaking is ribbons of purple but Ireland is green and smells like freshly mowed grass. 

“Pre-consecrated?” ben questions

“Pre-blessed whatever the fuck ya wanna call them, plus we have to have grape freezy pops here somewhere, we can hold blasphemous church” Morgan suggests

“That way we can be sure that we’ll all go to hell together” Dan cheers. 

“Hell, hell, hell, hell” Chloe, Laurie, and Lizzy chant. 

“I’ll go get them, Dan help me get the freezy pops”

“Why”

“You were the one who wanted to commit blasphemy”

“Fine.” a few minutes later they return goodies in hand. 

“I bring you the body of Jesus and his blood in slushy style” morgan announces

“Does that make us cannibals?” Ben smiles at her. 

“Actually that’s an active debate in the Catholic church”

“Seriously?” Ned laughs. Morgan nods. “And you call us heathens”  

“Anyway. Let’s have a sacrilegious church, we will start with Tedward because he’s a jew.” She opens the bottle of hosts, grabs a bunch and stuffs them in his mouth. “Take, eat, you look like you want a snack”. She grabs a freezy pop. Ned tries to say something that sounded like ‘wait, I haven’t finished chewing.’ Morgan laughs 

“Okay okay, I’ll wait” 

“Okay ready”

“Take drink, you look like you wanna get drunk”. She pours the freezy pop in Ned’s mouth

“Ahh brain freeze, brain freeze” 

“Hey Ned, You’re a Catholic now”

“Woohoo,” he says sarcastically  they repeat this process several times until finally, it was Morgan’s turn 

“Alright Dan, Blasphemy me up”

“Okay I’ll do it” he grabs the crackers “this is my body, specifically my dick given unto you, now suck it” he dumps several in her mouth while she laughs. “And here is my blood you fuckin’ vampire” he shoves the freezy in her mouth. She swallows them and stands up. 

“Now we’ll all go to hell together, including Edward!” the group all cheers and morgan and sits down on the love seat resuming her position with her legs over Ben. Morgan grabs the box of hosts and starts to snack them. Ben looks at the label. 

“Apparently your religion is not gluten free Morgan” she smiles at him

“Oh god, whatever shall I do” she fake faints.

“They also apparently have no additives and have a delicious taste.” 

“Ahh yes, Jesus literal body the staple of fine dining.” 

“They also h-have an outrageous amount of sodium” 

“Hey, the faster we die, the faster we go to hell” they sat there for a while. 

“It’s fucking hot” Ned pipes up. 

“Ya and the swimming hole is all the way across town” Dan complains. 

“Swimming hole?” Chloe looks at Lizzy 

“Oh ya I forgot you’ve never been there, we’ll take you one of these days” Lizzy responded 

“We could go to the river that’s behind my house” Morgan suggests

“There's a river?”

“Oh, ya the one you showed me back in May?”  Ben adds, Morgan smiles at him and nods 

“Wait you have a secret river” 

“Not secret, just follow the path in the woods for like 3 minutes and it’s there”

“That sounds great Morgan” Chloe smiles.

“To the river?”

“To the river” 

Getting to the river takes about 5 minutes as Morgan had predicted but it felt much longer because Dan won’t stop complaining. Ben sees Chloe look down and grab a pebble. She smiles at him and chucks it right at the small of his back. 

He watches at morgan flings off her shoes and runs into the water laughing. Ned attempts to skip a rock and ends up tripping and falling into the water, she throws her head back and laughs sounding like an angel. 

“You like her don’t you” Ben jumps a little turning to see Laurie smirking at him. 

“W-what no I d-don’t” Ben feels the heat rising to his cheeks. 

“I’m not blind I can see the way you look at her”

“Your crazy” he looks back at Morgan watching her getting in a splash war with Nathan and Lizzy. She’s laughing as she kicks the water getting Nathan.

“Right, because I haven’t known you for over 6 years” Ben turns to her and frowns. 

“Oh shut up” Chloe smiles at him, she says softly touches his should 

“She likes you too”

“Th-that can’t be right” Ben stammers 

“She told me herself,”  
“Really” Ben looked at her, hope written all over his face. 

“She made me promise not to tell you, but someone had to” Laurie smiles at him.  “I’m gonna go and get in a water fight. You can join me if you want to”. Ben stars at her as she runs into the water

“Hey losers, you call that a water fight?” Laurie yells kicking the water getting it all over Dan. Chloe smirks at her, and then the two of them gang up on Ned dumping water all over him. Ben stares watching them run around and splash in the afternoon summer sun. 

“Ben come on” Morgan calls, he shakes his head and she smirks and begins to chase him down the riverbank laughing and smiling. She catches up to him and they both fall over. He turns over and they are face to face.  His heart is still racing and he feels his cheeks begin to burn and see’s as Morgan’s do the same. 

“I- umm are you” he gives up part way through the sentence. 

“I’m fine”

“Hey, you two should kiss” Dan calls after them. Morgan turns around and flips him off before rolling off of ben. 

“Are you okay? You were the one that hit the ground”

“I’m fine.” she bites her lip and helps him up. 

“Sorry about that” she wipes her hands on her jeans awkwardly

“Well look at the time, we all better get going’ Chloe breaks the silence.

“Yes, leaving I agree” Ned yells in relief.  The groups put their shoes on and head back to Morgan’s. Talking amongst themselves. One by one they get to Morgan’s house and grab their various modes of transportation from her front yard and head off. And suddenly before either of them can do anything about it, they are alone in her front yard. 


	8. Chapter 7: A front lawn

**Chapter 7 Morgan and Ben**

She looks at him, and he looks at her. She swears that at this moment time slows and the world goes quiet and all anyone can hear is her heart beating so fast that she might just drown in her own blood. Her cheeks flush and she averts her gaze to the ground. Her mouth goes dry. She swallows and tries her best to talk

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier”

His breathing is uneven and he’s surprised he can hear anything over the sound of his beating heart.  He tries to shove words out of this mouth but it doesn’t work. 

“It’s okay, I-I should have been-” he wants to keep going and he wants to shut up and frankly he doesn’t know what he wants anymore, and syllables keep coming out of his damn mouth. 

Morgan can hardly breathe and she can only kind of hear the noises coming out of his mouth, and she wants him to stay and she wants him to go and she wants him to shut up because he’s making it worse And suddenly her feet are moving of their own accord and she’s surging forward and she’s on her toes and her hands are on his shoulders and...

 

...And her mouth is on his mouth. 

 

And fuck this feels good. And the world stops spinning for a minute. And everything stops moving. And all that is left is him and her and her and him and their mouths moving together. And he moves his hands on her waist almost instinctively. And she moves her arms around his neck to hold on. 

And neither of them cares that it’s almost 90 fucking degree’s out. Because they are enwrapped in each other. And neither of them want this to end. But they are human. And humans need air. So they separate panting and Morgan falls flat on her feet their foreheads still connected. 

“Morgan?”

“Ya”

“Can we never stop doing that?”

“Ya,” she laughs. And the world waits for a while. It waits for a boy and a girl, who are desperately in love with each other and just want to be with each other for a while. 

****


	9. Chapter 8: The Art of Drug Stores

**Chapter 8: Chloe**

They’re standing outside the Featherton Pharmacy, which seems like a pretty odd place. From the front, it looks like it just came out of the 1950s, Complete with the slogan:

_**Featherton Pharmacy: Helping Since 1948** _

The window is covered in decals that say things like ‘ **prescriptions** ’, ‘ **nicotine patches** ’ and ‘ **soda fountain** ’. There are also posters saying things like ‘ _coca-cola_ ’ and ‘ _1 dollar Ice-cream_ ’. She assumes that the last deal is no longer in practice. The inside seems to be crammed of colorful things including stuffed animals, shampoo, vitamins, and bad groceries. But instead of going in, they round the corner to the side of the pharmacy and Chloe gasps.

Unlike the rest of the pharmacy, this was is covered in beautiful and colorful artwork, depicting the treehouse from Adventure Time at sunset.

“Welcome to the wall,” Lizzy announces before dumping a duffle bag on the ground with a clang. “This is where Ben and I paint gigantic fucking murals when we have time”

“It’s beautiful” Chloe breathes out. “How… why”

“Oh, well. Our art teacher Ms. Wood, her dad owns this Pharmacy, and she says that she’s always hated the blank walls so she offered me and Lizzy to come by and paint the wall whenever we like.” Ben says, gently scuffing his sneaker against the ground.

“Plus this wall was almost always covered in Graffiti before” Ned adds “Matt and his crew would always come by and tag it with dicks and stuff. The only problem was that they would sign their names so they would always get caught”

“But Mr. Wood would never press charges so eventually the police stopped bothering to arrest them. But since Ben and Lizzy have started painting they rarely ever tag here. Especially cause the only time they did since Mr. Wood pressed loads of charges for destruction of property, which is now on their permanent records” Laurie added grinning

“Wow” Chloe adds smirking “he must love you guys”

“I mean as a group I think we make up about 80% of his prescription business,” Morgan adds smiling.

“We’re all druggies” Dan adds. Chloe looks at him for a second, “Nah, we’re all just on loads of legal drugs, mostly antidepressants”

“Don’t forget my Birth control” Laurie shouts back, as she helps Dan and Lizzy unpack,

“Oh and Laurie’s Birth control so she doesn’t get ovary cysts” Dan adds

“Or lose all my hair” Laurie adds pointing at him.

“Or that” he adds “wanna come to sit on the bench with me as we watch Picasso and Van Gogh do their thing”

“Van Gogh and Picasso are from two totally different art periods” Lizzy calls back annoyed

“It was only supposed to be a compliment Leonardo”

“Oh, also guys” Laurie pops up before she swings her leg up on the bench, “look at my new… not pants” she gestures at her shorts.

"Those are very good not pants," Morgan comments plopping on the bench

"thank you I got them for very few moneys” they keep talking until the sun has changed positions in the sky. And the wall looks pretty different than it did before. Chloe finds herself slumped on Laurie's shoulder while morgan lies across Laurie's lap.

“Do you think that if Cows were in charge like humans are, that they’d drink human milk?”

“Dan what the actual fuck” Chloe responds before dan can answer where he got the idea for that nightmare of a question, a phone alarm goes off startling everyone. 

“Ah, shit,” Lizzy says as she runs over to her phone to turn off the alarm, “guys I gotta go, so I can catch the bus. See ya,” A chorus of various goodbyes follows her as she grabs her stuff rights her bike and flies off down the street. 

“Hey, what bus was Lizzy talking about,” Chloe asks the rest of them all look at each other having a secret conversation with just their eyebrows. 

“I’m not sure we’re at liberty to tell you," says Laurie quietly. Chloe decides to leave it there, but there's a nagging feeling at the back of her brain, that something is wrong. 

 

 


	10. Chapter 9: we all have our problems

**Chapter 9 Lizzy**

The bus hisses and heads back into town. She stands at the entrance to the hospital. She shifts her weight back and forth between her feet a few times. She should have worn a dress, instead of her ratty band t-shirt and green overall shorts. She looks at the flowers she brought. Meadow flowers, the kind that grows in her back yard naturally. They were her mom’s favorite. She takes a breath and walks inside. She walks up to the front desk. The waiting room is quiet today. That’s good

“Hey, Carol”

“Hey sweetie, you here to visit your mom”

“Ya” 

“Alright let me just get you a visitor bracelet” Carol smiles at her, but it’s not a happy smile. It’s a pity smile. The smile that she’s so used to getting around here. She hates them. She watches as the bracelet slowly prints pushing itself out of the machine.  

“There you go, sweetie”

“Thank you, Carol”

“I’m assuming you know the way by now”

“Ya… ya, I do” and she does. She has it memorized. Turn left at the receptionist's desk and walk all the way down to the last set of elevators. Hit the up button and wait anywhere from 1 second to 30 seconds. Today she waits 13 seconds. Get in the elevator hit the button for floor 2. Ride up quietly. Take a right out of the elevator and walk down until you reach the first waiting room area. The one with  CANCER CENTER written in gigantic letters hanging over it. Walk forward talk to the receptionist, Martha. She is on a first-name basis with Martha now. Martha will wave her through. Mom’s room is towards the back to walk down the main hallway for 3 side hallways and then take a right. Mom’s room is room 237. The second door down on the left side. Take a deep breath and walk-in. 

“Hey, Mom” 

“Hi, sweetie” her mother smiles faintly. Her breathing is so even only a machine could do it. And it is. Her mother's room sounds like a fucking samba with all the beeping. 

“I brought you flowers, the kind that grows in our backyard. The purple ones aren’t up yet, I know they’re your favorites” 

“It’s fine Elizabeth, they’re beautiful”

“I miss you at home”

“I know sweetie, and I’ll be back as soon as-”

“Don’t” 

“Don’t what sweetie”

“Dad told me”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know”

“It’s okay.” they sit there in silence together for a while. Two women who used to look exactly alike, both now shadow’s of their former selves. “Mom, did dad ever get really angry at you, especially when you started getting sick?” 

“Lizzy is there something you need to tell me”

“No”

“Elizabeth Rose”

“I think dad is angry mom, and I do not know what to do”

“Lizzy”

“Mom, I think he takes out on me what he takes out on you. He called me- Lily yesterday”

“I’m so sorry darling. He’s under so much stress right now, just. He loves you sweetie but if he ever hurts you, slap him so hard that his sense comes back. Has he-”

“Only unintentionally like, he yelled at me when I was going down the stairs and I tripped and he said he felt terrible and he helped me ice my knee and apologized”

“Good, Lizzy, be strong for me. Your dad is going to need a lot of help and he is almost as stubborn as you when it comes to refusing it. If he starts to get angry, remind him that you are you and then hug him. Lizzy, I don’t think he’s slept since we got the final notice. He’s tired and that makes people-”

“Irrational” 

“Yes, and Lizzy,”

“Ya”

“I’ll threaten to kick his ass if he hurts you when he visits, okay?” Lizzy giggles

“Okay Mom.” they sit there smiling for a bit. Then they hear a knock on the door and Martha sticks her head in

“Hey Lizzy, visiting time ended about 5 minutes ago, I’m not gonna push you alright but”

“That’s okay Martha. Bye Mom”

“Bye darling”. She stands up and walks out with Martha. Martha smiles at her, her long white braid swinging. 

“You are one strong kid, you know that?”

“I’ve been told something like that before.”

“I’ll see you soon Liz”

“I’ll see you soon Martha” Lizzy smiles and she walks out of the nearly empty hospital outside and into the sunset. She pulls out her phone and texts her dad. 

            I was visiting mom. I’ll be home a few minutes late okay  
           Okay sweetie, I love you. 

 

And though she wants to smile at the message, part of her just keeps asking on repeat, 'is that even true'. She shakes the thought away and climbs onto the bus, watching the trees go by and wondering what her life could have been. 


	11. Chapter 10: Trade Offs

**Chapter 10 Laurie**

All the girls are over at Chloe's house because ‘my mom wants to meet you’. Chloe's mother seemed pretty happy at the spread of girls and their mixture of activities, glad that if Chloe wanted to join a club there was a strong likelihood of someone she knows being in it.  Currently, Morgan’s sitting on Chloe's bed braiding Lizzy's hair into all sorts of complicated styles. Because ‘if you look like Sansa you might as well have her hair’ and honestly it’s looking pretty good.

“Morgan where’d you learn how to braid hair so well?” Laurie asks from the floor as she pets Lady Macbeth who’s purring loudly. 

“The internet” Chloe throws her an unimpressed look, “fine,” morgan says “I had to learn how to braid my own hair because mom and dad left early in the morning and Bran was helpless at hair. I really liked it and ended up finding youtube channels that dissect fantasy hairstyles”  

“That’s super cool” Chloe responds “can you teach me the basics sometime?” Morgans face lights up as she nods 

“Totally! Braiding is actually way easier than everyone assumes. Just like everything, there are just a few different main braids you have to master and from there on out its just variations on those.” Morgan starts to gush, dipping in and out of talking points like she always does when she gets excited. 

“Alright! Before Morgan manages to make this all about the native flora and fauna of Sweden, Does anyone else have to say anything?” Lizzy says clapping her hands together, making Morgan blush profusely as she goes back to intently braiding Lizzy's hair.

“Sorry”

“Wait, What? Has she done that before?”

“Only once” Morgan mumbles, Chloe stares at her in disbelief,

“What? How?”

“We were talking about Biomes and what counts as a Biome in 8th-grade science. I had recently fallen into a Wikipedia hole about it. It doesn’t matter, Ms. Reed thought it was cool.” Morgan says, her entire face blushing including her ears. It’s so endearing it's sickening.    


“That's cause Ms. Reed loved you,” Laurie says grinning. 

“Whack,” Chloe says spinning around in her chair, “nothing like that ever happened in LA” 

“Well the ‘burbs are a weird place,” Laurie says, Chloe immediately stops spinning

“What do you mean?”

“Well, they leave you with nowhere to go. They’re just weird.” Laurie responds going back to scratching Lady M’s ears. Chloe just looks at her confused, “I think that kids who live in the suburbs get the short end of the stick. Because no one wants to live in a place like where they grew up. Especially kids who weren’t popular in high school. So kids who grew up in the suburbs don’t want to live in suburbs, but they are positioned in a way where they have no delusions about living in a city or living in a rural place. They see how gross and depressing those places can be. So they don’t want to live in either of the extremes, but most of all they don’t want to live in the middle ground, so they’re just stuck. And eventually, they’ll have to find some sort of combo that’s either closer to a city or a small town and stick with it. They will never truly like where they end up living” 

“Well shit Laurie you just managed to sum up all of my fears in a paragraph there didn’t you?” Says Lizzy from where she’s sitting. But Chloe's just stares at her blankly for a moment before blinking and saying,

“Do you hate it here that much?” 

“... It's been harder for her than for most" is Morgan's diplomatic response. But luckily before anything can get any worse Lizzy dives in with,

“Well changing subjects, what's going on between you and Ben, Morgan?” Morgan groans a little but she smiles as she does it. 

“Nothings going on” 

“Bullshit you’ve had a crush on him for forever, and you’ve been acting especially weird around him lately,” Lizzy says,

“Fine gimme a moment.” Morgan concedes before finishing off the braid and turning to face the rest of them. “We kissed on my front yard and he admitted to having a crush on me and we’re dating now” her heart drops to her stomach, but she joins in with Lizzy of the cheering of ‘finally’ and ‘hallelujah’

“I thought it would take the apocalypse for you two to get your act together,” Lizzy says,   
“It’s not my fault I didn’t know he liked me”

“For God's sake, he’s been acting like a lost puppy ever since the incident,” 

“He’s been acting no different than Laurie” her stomach drops again 

“Whatever, at least the two of you finally figured it out,” Lizzy says as Laurie's heart is beating so hard she can feel it in her cheeks. She glances at Morgan who’s too busy blushing and lighting smacking Lizzy to notice. But hey, after everything… she deserves to have a good thing. 

“How long has this been going on?” asks Chloe 

“The fall of Freshman year” Laurie hears herself respond. Some more comments are made but Laurie doesn’t fully hear them over the sound of her fake smile. What she does hear is the tight wrapping of a fist against Chloe's door. 

“Come in ma,” Chloe calls out gently, and Chloe’s mother opens the door. 

“Hi girls, I’m just here to tell you that we’re going to be having dinner in about half an hour, so if you want to text your parents about staying for dinner” she trails off, but they all hear the tightness in her voice indicating just how invited they actually are. 

“Oh, no It’s fine I better head home anyway,” Morgan says quickly,

“Yep gotta be home for dinner,” Lizzy says 

“I might as well head out too,” Laurie says, and Chloe’s mom's smile eases up a bit

“You don’t need to hurry, this was just a warning,” she says before exiting the room. 

“Well, bye Chloe,” Lizzy says “thanks for tolerating us crashing your bedroom” Chloe laughs as Lizzy turns around, “You better tell me more about this on our way home” she shoots at Morgan. “Adios Laurie” 

“Adios muchacho” is Lauries response

“Bye Chloe, It was nice hanging out with you,” she says gently nudging Laurie's shoulder “bye wifey”

“Bye wifey” Laurie echos, her throat feels hollow as she watches the two girls leave Chloe’s room. She gently displaces Lady Macbeth before getting up. 

“I’m sorry” Chloe's voice floats across the room,

“What about dinner, it’s fine,” Laurie says 

“About Morgan” Laurie looks up at her feeling the worry on her face. Chloe gives her a soft look, “I know that facial expression too well.” Laurie looks at the ground 

“She deserves to be happy.”

“So do you” 

“Thanks, Chloe,” she says, before exiting the room, where she finally allows herself to breathe. 

 

‘So do you’ she thinks,

 

Huh. 


	12. Chapter 11: Quack Quack

**Chapter 11 Chloe**

It was one of those summer days when the weather just decided to start raining buckets out of the middle of nowhere. The group decided to meet up at Laurie’s house as it was the most equidistant from everybody's house, so everyone would get evenly soaked. Chloe was jogging through the rain grinning, gripping the box under her arms.  

She walks into Morgans living room, still wet, holding a medium-sized box to see, on the couch Morgan draped over Ben’s lap, Laurie sitting on the back of the couch, Lizzy lying on the floor with her head on Ned’s stomach, and Dan sitting on the coffee table. 

“One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet, and when one feels like a duck one is happy”

“Ooh, DuCKliNgs” Ned calls back.

“Too old to be a duckling” Laurie responds

“QUACK QUACK” Ned yells back. 

“Anyway guys, LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT” 

“It’s a box” Morgan responds deadpan

“Well yeah but it’s a mystery box”

“The fuck?” dan responds 

“So you know how my dad does financial stuff, well he apparently did some work for Amazon, and they sent a package from their novelty section and my dad gave it to me”

“So you don’t know what’s in the box,” Ben says

“Nope, so you wanna find out what’s in my box of toys”

“That's what she said” Dan retorted.

“Daniel,” Lizzy looked up

“Ya”

“Corner now” 

“What?”

“Corner now” 

“Okay fine which corner,” Dan says trying to be snide. 

“The back left one” Morgan smirks at him, he groans but goes and sits in the corner

“Let's see” she pulls out one item at a time, “we have a yodeling pickle, ‘What the Fuck’ notes, Canadian breath spray, and the best of all, 36 kazoos.” 

“36 Kazoos?” Laurie laughs

“Can I come back from the fucking corner now?”

“No” everyone responds

“Okay, Chlo, I can respect that your dad helped amazon but 36 Kazoos?” Ned asks

“Dude I have no idea” she goes to say more but is cut off by a loud Kazoo noise, everyone turns around to see Laurie holding a kazoo.

“They work,” she says. Morgan just bursts out laughing and soon everybody else has too.

“Can I come back from the fucking corner now?” Dan asks

“Oh, ya, sure,” Lizzy says 

“Did you forget about me?”

“Maybe” Ned smirks at him

“Can I have a kazoo?” Morgan asks. Chloe absentmindedly tosses a kazoo in her general direction. Morgan grabs it and promptly starts to play a very dramatic version of Bohemian Rhapsody, causing Lizzy to grab one and start harmonizing along. By the time they get to the “I see a little silhouette” section, everyone has a kazoo and is kazooing along, some with more success than others. Ned seems to be completely tone-deaf but enthusiastic. One by one they seem to fade out until it’s just Morgan and Lizzy dramatically kazooing the end together, as they strike a dramatic pose. 

“This is why you don’t give the musical theater kid a kazoo,” Ned says once they finish,

“Or why I don’t give you a kazoo Ned,” Chloe says smirking “can you hold a tune at all?”

“I am rather proud of just how tone-deaf I am” is his response, as he sticks his nose up in the air, causing Dan to snort and Lizzy to giggle. 

“It truly is a feat,” Laurie says walking up to her side gently checking her shoulder, she seems to be doing pretty good considering everything that’s gone down over the past few days. 

“Also did I hear that right? Morgan is a musical theater kid?” she says, Morgan sighs and rolls her eyes, 

“Not really, I just-” 

“IT’S POWERPOINT TIME” both Laurie and Dan shout in sync 

“Powerpoint time?” Chloe asks, but her confusion is promptly ignored by a flurry of activity around her that includes Laurie grabbing her computer, ned grabbing a pointer from _somewhere_ she’s sure. Lizzy grabs her arm and pulls her so she’s sitting down on the couch just time to look up at the television to see that Laurie has projected what looks to be a massive powerpoint called,

_For When Morgan Insists She’s Not A Theater Kid_

_(aka: receipts)_

“I love how often this implies that Morgan says she isn’t a theater kid,” she says and Laurie looks at her approvingly before dan starts to talk in a ridiculous yet very good ‘academic’ accent. 

“Good morning class, Today we will be discussing Morgan McCarthy’s past as an actor, dancer, and singer. We shall also discuss the philosophical implications of her denial of being a theatre kid.” he says before brandishing out the pointer,  “TA Laurie, the slide,” Laurie dutifully changes the slide to reveal a picture of a small child in a bright red wig wearing a bright red dress, “figure one: 7-year-old Morgan as Annie in a local community theater production of Annie” he gestures and the slide changes to reveal a picture of another small child with strawberry blonde hair of a familiar hue, and big blue eyes in a ratty dress. “Figure One: 9-year-old Morgan as Young Cosette, in our local highschool's production of Les Mis.” Morgan groans and buries her face in Ben’s neck, and Ben pats her shoulder twice. 

“NEXT” Laurie pronounces as she changes slides to reveal 3 pictures of Morgan in different costumes, “figures 3-5: Morgan in all of the middle school plays as The Weatherman, Peggy Sweetheart, and Juliette. This sparked our dear Morgan’s love for Shakespeare as can be seen in” she holds out the vowel as she changes slides “THIS, Figure 6: Morgan as Young Elizabeth in Stratford Theater Festival’s production of Richard the third” 

“Okay that’s fair, but our middle school theater teacher filmed my audition and knew some of the people who worked at the festival.” everybody but Chloe rolls their eyes 

“When will you just accept that you’re talented” Ned groans 

“I know I'm talented, I’m just saying I’m not a theater kid because I don’t have an agent I just run around and audition for summer productions for fun.” 

“Okay so she’s a theater kid,” Chloe says, 

“Ya Think?” Dan asks with his eyebrow raised, while in the background Laurie is flipping through slide after slide of Morgan in various productions, in various dance recitals, and singing at various events. 

“Say it, Morgan,” Laurie says, 

“FINE, I’m a theater kid okay. But at least I don’t act like most theater kids” 

“Thank God For That,” Dan says and they all bust out into giggles as rain continues to pound down on the outside world, safe in their little bubble, all pretty damn happy. And they all feel just a little bit like a duck. 

 


	13. Chapter 12: Mo(u)rning

**Chapter 13 Morgan**

Morgan groggily looks up and checks the alarm clock. 7:15. She knows she won’t be able to fall back asleep. She crawls out of bed still half asleep and throws on whatever clothes she can find. She lazily throws her hair into a frizzy bun, not wanting to deal with making it curl. She walks across the hallway and bangs on her brother’s door, 

“Wake up sleepy head, can you make me breakfast?” but there’s no response. “Bran! come on wake up.” she bangs on the door again. She goes to open the door just as soon as her mother walks into the hallway,

"tá sé seo de chineál éigin joke tinn?

 

And that's when the door swings open. 

**Oh fuck.**

The pills are still there.

And the memories come, smashing and she cannot breathe. Because Bran is gone, and she found him and she forgot.  

She Forgot.

“MORGAN ERIN MCCARTHY!”

“He’s...Gone.” she chokes out,

“TÁ sé fucking imithe!” her father comes running into the hallway to see what was going on.

“Saoirse, please,” he pleads, and her mother keeps talking. But she can’t hear it, it feels like she’s in a different dimension. The air is thicker and she can hear something softly say something. She feels the air brush over her face. She gets up off the ground and turns to face her mother,

"I'm sorry it wasn't me too."

“Morgan, no that's not what she meant,” her father says. But Morgan is already gone. She is running away with tears streaming down her face. She is running down the street to find somewhere she can hide, somewhere her parents can’t get her. And she finds herself on Ben’s doorstep, ringing the bell. 

“Morgan? Hey, Hey, what's wrong?” she can’t stop crying long enough to answer, so she just lets herself fall into his arms. “Hey, hey it’s okay. Do you wanna go up to my room?” 

“Is your mom okay with that?”

“Mom left for work like half an hour ago so it’s just me.” 

“Okay then.” he guides her upstairs and into his room, his bed is shoved against the back wall, and it’s made. Of course, it is. She feels a spark of hope inside. Ben is Ben. Ben will always be Ben. A known quantity, a safety blanket. For right now that might just be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Morgan's mom is saying:
> 
> tá sé seo de chineál éigin joke tinn?: is this some sort of sick joke
> 
> TÁ sé fucking imithe: Yes he's fucking gone
> 
> I am aware that the translations aren't perfect. I'm working with the broken Irish my grandmother taught me.


	14. Chapter 13: Constellations

Chapter 13 Ben

He watches Morgan fidget with her necklace before sighing and flopping back on his bed. Her short torso nearly reaches the wall on his full-sized bed. 

“I have cried so much this week, I’m just surprised I haven’t die-drated.” the usually opaque purple streaks that cross his vision are now a translucent greyish blue.

**“** Die-drated?”

“Hydrate don’t die-drate”

“That is one of the weirdest slogans I have ever heard” 

“And ‘it’s finger-lickin' good’ is normal”

“I didn’t say it was the weirdest” she smiles up at him and intertwines their fingers. 

“Your air conditioning is on ridiculously high.”

“My room just happens to be one of the main vents. Do you want a hoodie or a flannel or something”

“I know I should say no, but I’m cold and sad and tired so yes. I would like a hoodie or a flannel or something.” he smiles at her and stands up. He heads over to his dresser and grabs the top thing on his dresser; a hoodie, flannel hybrid.

“Here you go” she grabs it and throws it on 

“Thanks.” He lies down next to her again, and they just lie there for a while, when she breaks the silence. “You have stars on your ceiling”

“What” she points up at the small off yellow stars that are stuck to his ceiling. “Oh, those. I um, was kinda afraid of the dark when I was little, and my mom knew that I liked space, so we stuck  them in constellations”

“I love them,” she sits up and leans against him. He gets an idea, and grabs his pillows from the top of his bed and sets them up against the wall, they both lay back, more comfortably this time,  when he hears a small “can you tell me about them” 

“sure, so that one right over your head is the little dipper. The last star in the handle is the north star. The little dipper is actually part of a larger constellation called Ursa Minor.” 

“Ursa Minor”

“Ya, the little bear.” 

“Little Bear?”

“Well ya the story goes that Zeus, was sleeping around, and he met a woman called Callisto and they had a son together named Arcas. Hera-”

“Zeus’s wife”

“Ya, she found out about Zeus’s affair and got jealous, so to protect them, Zeus turned both Callisto and Arcas into Bears and put them in the stars”   

“So even in mythology wives are jealous assholes” she puts her hands on her face and sighs “sorry it’s just that-”

“Hey it’s okay” 

“Ben”

“Ya”

“Did you know that you are the best boyfriend I’ve ever had”

“I’m the only boyfriend you’ve ever had”

“Ya but I don’t want  that to change anytime soon”

“Neither do I” They look at each other for a while. The words he wants to say are stuck in his brain, not coming out. She slides towards him and gently presses a kiss on his lips. He smiles and kisses her forehead. She curls up on his side and lays her head on his chest staring up at his ceiling. He twirls one of her strawberry blonde curls between his fingers when she sighs and says,

“I’m totally stealing your shirt”

**“** I’m okay with that” she smiles at him. 

“Tell me more about the stars” 


	15. Chapter 14: The Affair

**Ned**

He stands behind the counter in the coffee shop sighing as he cleans the coffee machine slowly. While he loves his parents he’s annoyed that they still make him take shifts at the shop during summer. He grabs the coffee machine and starts to clean it. 3 sprays of disinfectant, 4 rubs of the cloth in each direction. He microwaves them because his parents care more about ‘the environment’ than with his ‘irrational concern about germs in dishcloths’. Rinse for 5 seconds, put it back in the machine. He turns around to put it back when he sees the photo of him and his parents, that his dad put here even though no one but the employees can see it the way it’s hung. 

He likes this photo. It was taken before they moved out here, back when they were living in Queens. They’re in Corona Park, next to Willow Lake. He’s about 4 years old and he’s holding on to a small rock he found on the ground, and his little chubby hand is sticking it out towards the camera. His blonde hair in curls. He looked good with blonde hair. His dad is carrying him on his right hip, looking so proud of him. His mom is standing next to them holding his dad’s arm, her long brown hair flowing, and she’s smiling so brightly it looks like the sun. 

He knows his dad preferred living in the city, he doesn’t blame him. But they moved out here when his grandma got sick, and suddenly they were in the middle of nowhere and his dad and he seemed to be the only jews around for miles. 

The only reason he made it through those first few months was because of Laurie. She found him being bullied by a group of boys in the corner of the playground and she came storming over in all her 6-year-old glory and told them to back off. 

He’s so wrapped up in thought he doesn’t hear when the bell jingle when someone opens the door. 

“Hey Ned” 

“Oh! Hey Dan” he says 

“Whatcha doing?” Dan says pointing down at Ned’s hand, Ned looks down to see that he’s still cleaning the part of the machine he was holding when he turned to look at the picture. And Jesus Christ he doesn’t know how many times he cleaned it. He’s gonna spend all day trying to calculate that so he can even out the rest of the machine at some point. 

“NED, Hey, Dude! I can hear you spiraling from over here.” He looks up to see Dan looking over the counter at him, his eyes filled with concern, 

“It’s nothing. I just… I can’t remember how many times I cleaned the damn thing.” Ned says putting it back in the machine, “I got distracted” 

“Happens to the best of us.” Dan says, “I got something that might help.” Ned runs his hands through his hair, 

“Dan. I’m in the middle of work, plus I already told you we need to stop doing this-” 

“Ned!” Dan says cutting him off, “It’s fine, no one is here, plus you are minutes away from a panic attack, and if it helps…” he trails off, 

“Fine asshole, but we need to stop doing this,” Ned says walking out from behind the counter,

“You make it sound like we’re having an affair.” Dan says grinning, “it’s just weed.”

“Done in the least cool way possible,” Ned replies as they walk out the back door sitting on the steps, 

“We aren’t doing this to be cool, We’re doing this to get you high” Ned rolls his eyes but still reaches out his hand when Dan pulls his vape out of his pocket. It takes a bit for Ned to get sufficiently high that he’s not thinking about all the germs in Dan's pocket that might contaminate his vape, but when he gets there he feels his body finally relax. “Do you think it’s getting worse?” Nathan asks, and he lets his slightly addled mind just let go, 

“Maybe dude, but it might just be a bad day. But I’ve been having more bad days lately. But you know I suck at change.” 

“Everyone sucks at change, that’s why it’s called change. If it was easy it would be called... easgy” Dan says tripping himself up over the word, he looks back at Ned who starts laughing, 

“Easgy” he repeats giggling,

“Shuddup man, I’m too high to deal with this right now,” Dan says but he’s grinning. Ned couldn’t wish for anymore. 

 

Well okay. one thing: Hopefully, his parents won’t figure he got high. 


	16. Chapter 15: Bran

**Bran April 15th** . 

“Hey, Bran,” he turns to see his little sister leaning against the neighboring locker.

“Hey, I thought you weren’t called today for practice?” 

“Rehearsal, and ya I wasn’t called,” he frowns at her “I just was waiting to walk home with you,” she looks at the floor.

“Is Matt bothering you again?"

“Kinda,” she mumbles staring at the floor.  He pulls her into a hug, smashing her face against his chest, and resting his head on top of hers. 

“Hey Bran, hey Morgan.” He looks over to see Maggie walking over to them 

“Hey Mags, I know we were supposed to head out together, but...” He gestures towards Morgan. Maggie smiles at him but he feels like she's faking it, 

“Nah I get it,” she says. 

“Hey, Maggie,” Morgan looks at her. 

“Hey kid, hard day?” 

“Ya.” Maggie ruffles her hair,

“You’re a strong kid, Morgan. Also, Bran don’t worry, I’ll head out with Carly.” she smiles and walks away,

"leithscéal as ruining... is cuma cad a bhí,"

“It’s fine, lemme get my books.” they head out, as the day slowly becomes a bit darker. The clouds hang low in the sky and the air is dry and surprisingly cold for April. He watches as she walks down the sidewalk occasionally kicking a rock out of the way. It’s so obvious she’s stuck in her head. He leans down and grabs her hand squeezing it tight. She smiles at him and they continue the journey home. 

Later, he watches Morgan sitting at the kitchen table fiddling with the necklace he gave her as a birthday gift a few weeks ago. They had all pitched in to buy her a ukulele and she loved it. But she didn’t stop thanking him for the necklace. It was a locket but she didn’t know that. It would take her time to figure that out, and that’s what he needed. Time. 

He feels horrible, but he knows that he can’t do it anymore. He can’t hold on. His parents didn't have the best reaction when Morgan got diagnosed, but they got her medicated after awhile. And he’s too afraid to tell them that he is too. One broken kid is one thing, two is another. He also doesn’t have that time. He envies Morgan a bit. She isn’t popular but she has her group, and they are ride or die for each other. He’s heard them talking about mental illness and how to deal with abuse. They’re good friends. He, on the other hand, is so damn alone. it feels like he's on one side of a wall pressed up against it, leaving just an imprint where he should be. A shell of a person. 

When he goes upstairs to bed that night he knows he can’t bear it anymore 

  
  


_ And 3 hours later he looks at the Bottle of Oxy in his hand _

**And Bran McCarthy takes his last breath.**


End file.
